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Post by Adseria on Feb 4, 2019 16:16:06 GMT -6
So, you know how you get those intel messages saying that people are struggling with certain techs? Nothing particularly humorous there, right?
"Intelligence Report USA: There are rumours that US scientists are having trouble mastering the principles of Shell dyes."
"Hey, Dave?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"Well, Dave, you know how we keep missing because we can't tell which shells are ours?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"Well, Dave, why don't we put coloured dye in our shells so that we can tell them apart?"
"Great idea, Steve! How do we do that?"
"I hadn't really got that far yet, Dave. I thought maybe we could suggest it to the boffins and they can work their magic?"
"Great plan, Steve. Get on it."
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Post by akosjaccik on Feb 4, 2019 16:34:46 GMT -6
(...)
"Intelligence Report USA: There are rumours that US scientists are having trouble mastering the principles of Shell dyes." (...)
Had to think about the situation further:
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Post by Adseria on Feb 4, 2019 16:43:48 GMT -6
(...)
"Intelligence Report USA: There are rumours that US scientists are having trouble mastering the principles of Shell dyes." (...)
Had to think about the situation further:
"I've got it, Steve!"
*Draws a smiley face on the shell*
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Post by Adseria on Feb 5, 2019 0:40:24 GMT -6
So, I just finished a battle. Nothing much exciting happened; a coastal raid where the defenders never turned up, so I just wandered around destroying LTs and the occasional merchant.
After the battle, I was curious as to how the damage model works for land targets, so I brought up the log and had a look. One of the hits amused me greatly:
"22 11:10 16 in 13758 yds Critical hit *! Machinery damaged! (BC Indefatigable, HE)"
"Hey, Steve?"
"Yes, Dave?"
"Steve, the engine room has been hit."
"Uh... Dave?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"Dave, why does the coastal battery have an engine room?"
"Well, Steve, that's a good question. Probably the same reason it has a hull."
"22 11:02 16 in 16433 yds Hull hit BE * (BC Indefatigable, HE)"
And before anyone says it, yes, I double checked, and no, I wasn't looking at a ship by mistake.
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Post by noshurviverse on Feb 5, 2019 1:29:55 GMT -6
Well, to be fair the machinery required to power ammunition hoists and gun slewing devices probably requires an on-site generator.
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Post by akosjaccik on Feb 5, 2019 7:24:10 GMT -6
I am also impressed by the fact that the hull got a "belt extended" HE hit ...and penetrated! They don't make concrete novadays like they used to, huh?
One also has to wonder what's next. - "Sir, battery 4 is listing badly, requesting permission to conduct counterflooding!"
- "...is doing WHAT?!"
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Post by garrisonchisholm on Feb 5, 2019 16:35:28 GMT -6
akosjaccik, you are frighteningly close to the tone of a humorous 1940's instruction manual.
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Post by Adseria on Feb 5, 2019 17:05:19 GMT -6
Well, to be fair the machinery required to power ammunition hoists and gun slewing devices probably requires an on-site generator. True, but that doesn't explain the hull hit. Besides, does damaged machinery even affect ROF?
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Post by bcoopactual on Feb 5, 2019 17:25:01 GMT -6
It was probably just an expediency to treat the shore batteries as ships and use the same general systems and damage code minus the flooding so the developers could devote their time and effort to more important things rather than making an entire separate damage resolution system for a very minor component of the game. It does make for some humorous damage reports though. Like that scene in Operation Petticoat where they sunk a truck.
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Post by ieshima on Feb 5, 2019 18:28:53 GMT -6
It was probably just an expediency to treat the shore batteries as ships and use the same general systems and damage code minus the flooding so the developers could devote their time and effort to more important things rather than making an entire separate damage resolution system for a very minor component of the game. It does make for some humorous damage reports though. Like that scene in Operation Petticoat where they sunk a truck. I have an old Bantam war book somewhere in my collection about a US sub in the Pacific during the early war that gets picked for a special sabotage mission involving a crazy Australian commando and some limpet mines. The shore party succeeds in getting the mines planted, but they end up with one spare. On the way out they alert the guards and the base goes in lockdown, forcing them to hide out till the following night. While hiding they spot a Japanese General and his staff taking a bath in a communal shower, and the commando says that because they're all traditional they'll probably be back the at the same time the nest day.
So they set the spare mine on the shower, and time it to explode when the General has his bath.
When they get back to Pearl Harbor they are greeted by a staff officer who asks if they had anything to do with a Japanese General and an exploding bathtub. For the rest of the book they have a 'kill' silhouette of a shower painted on the conning tower.
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Post by Adseria on Feb 5, 2019 23:15:51 GMT -6
It was probably just an expediency to treat the shore batteries as ships and use the same general systems and damage code minus the flooding so the developers could devote their time and effort to more important things rather than making an entire separate damage resolution system for a very minor component of the game. It does make for some humorous damage reports though. Like that scene in Operation Petticoat where they sunk a truck. Oh, I know why the damage reports are the way they are. It's the same reason why the battery was using "Starboard wing turrets." They're just static ships placed on land. Doesn't make the reports any less funny, though.
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Post by Adseria on Feb 5, 2019 23:20:37 GMT -6
I am also impressed by the fact that the hull got a "belt extended" HE hit ...and penetrated! They don't make concrete novadays like they used to, huh?
One also has to wonder what's next. - "Sir, battery 4 is listing badly, requesting permission to conduct counterflooding!"
- "...is doing WHAT?!" I put it down to the extra weight of the food colouring improving the penetrative qualities of the shell.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2019 20:11:33 GMT -6
I remember sinking a 14in double turret coastal battery with a torpedo from my merchant raided. I forgot to put that raider to raider status and it stayed in active forces. And since this was in a colonial coastal bombardment, I had nothing but a merchant raider located there, so that was my only unit. However, the battle started with a horrible weather all around, visibility almost enough to see the tip of your nose. I searched for the bombardment target where it had to be. I was going around the same peninsula like the 10th time, but to my big surprise, I have not found the target that should have been there somewhere, but instead I located enemy 14in double turret ready to put my tin can down with a single hit. But my tin can had 1 torpedo launcher on centreline (dont ask me how it is possible on such ship). The fortress was located just at the shore, with about 50% or more of its surface above the sea. My crew wasted no time, and send that torpedo right to the belt of the fortress, sinking it. I need to say that I just stared at the battle log in confusion. Well thats the correct way how to eliminate coastal fortress. I wonder why allies didnt use that tactics on D-day. It would surprise the Germans like hell
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Post by aeson on Feb 7, 2019 20:23:47 GMT -6
Well thats the correct way how to eliminate coastal fortress. I wonder why allies didnt use that tactics on D-day. It would surprise the Germans like hell The Allied landing forces at Normandy did use torpedoes against the German defenses.
(Yes, I know you don't mean that kind of torpedo.)
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Post by Adseria on Feb 7, 2019 23:21:33 GMT -6
I remember sinking a 14in double turret coastal battery with a torpedo from my merchant raided. I forgot to put that raider to raider status and it stayed in active forces. And since this was in a colonial coastal bombardment, I had nothing but a merchant raider located there, so that was my only unit. However, the battle started with a horrible weather all around, visibility almost enough to see the tip of your nose. I searched for the bombardment target where it had to be. I was going around the same peninsula like the 10th time, but to my big surprise, I have not found the target that should have been there somewhere, but instead I located enemy 14in double turret ready to put my tin can down with a single hit. But my tin can had 1 torpedo launcher on centreline (dont ask me how it is possible on such ship). The fortress was located just at the shore, with about 50% or more of its surface above the sea. My crew wasted no time, and send that torpedo right to the belt of the fortress, sinking it. I need to say that I just stared at the battle log in confusion. Well thats the correct way how to eliminate coastal fortress. I wonder why allies didnt use that tactics on D-day. It would surprise the Germans like hell Well, they do call a torpedo a "fish;" maybe you were firing flying fish?
Incidentally, if you only had that one AMC in the region, why not just decline the battle?
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